Eulogy by Rachel Van Dyken

Author:Rachel Van Dyken [Van Dyken, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Van Dyken Enterprises INC
Published: 2018-02-20T08:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

“Guilt was not something I was used to. It wasn’t in my makeup. Not something the mafia teaches you. No, the mafia teaches you survival. My father taught me how to live and how to kill. And I was a good student.”

— Ex-FBI Agent P

Chase

On the outside I was calm.

Confident.

Still angry.

Still an asshole.

But my heart? It beat so wildly that I pressed a hand to it and leaned against the wall in the spare bathroom. What the hell was that?

The almost painful feeling that stretched my chest wide. The one that made me think I was having a heart attack.

Naked.

She’d been so naked.

I’d only acted unaffected because I was in shock.

Complete shock.

Eight months, and I’d told myself I would never touch another woman again, promised myself I’d leave this earth with her blood on my hands, that it would consume me in every way.

And now I was thinking about her wearing those damn pearls.

And nothing else.

I dropped the towel and stepped into the shower then braced one hand against the wall as my body pulsed with need. I clenched my teeth. Unbelievable. She wore headbands!

I killed people.

She had pearls.

I reached for myself and gripped.

I wasn’t going to live past my last few kills.

I moved my hand as water pelted my back. Her parted lips… that wide-eyed innocent look that made me even wonder if she’d ever had sex before or if she’d just been too busy being proper to even think about it…

I let out a grunt of frustration.

My hand was a pathetic substitute for that mouth of hers.

It was painful, removing my hand, staring at the wall, and quickly flipping on the cold water.

Any other woman, and I’d be satisfied.

Any other woman, but not her.

No, not her.

“Fuck!” I slammed my hands against the tiled wall and grit my teeth as freezing water hit me from all sides, cooling me off but doing nothing about the fact that I was going to impale her if I got too close.

I smirked, even though it wasn’t funny. To think I’d thought she’d broken my dick, too.

After all, she’d taken everything else.

Why not take that?

Have the last laugh?

I squatted down and let the water hit my face, chilling me to the bone. If a cold shower didn’t do it, I wasn’t so sure she should sing to me tonight; the last thing I needed was for her to think I had her in my room because I was seconds away from screwing her.

“Agh!” I stood and washed my body, rinsed, then grabbed a towel and quietly made my way back into the bedroom to grab a pair of pajama pants. Tonight was not the best night to just wear black Stance briefs to bed.

I’d literally just pulled up my pants when she walked around the corner, clothed, with her skin looking dewy and pink.

I wiped my face with one hand and stared.

She didn’t move.

Her hair was in a knot on her head, and her face was bare, no makeup.

And I’d never seen

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